Fidgety Space

A Sunday morning walk is tiring. It shouldn’t be tiring, but for lazy people like me it indeed is. I was with a friend who was on a weight loss mission. I simply wanted to do something new hence for a change had accompanied her by sacrificing my beloved morning sleep. The only thing I wanted was a good breakfast and then run back home to make up for the lost sleep. But my friend was in no mood to get back home. Given an option she wouldn’t have returned back home that day. And the reason was pretty weird. She told me her Bua (aunty) had come for a few days and she cannot stand her. She gets on her nerves and drives her crazy. When I looked at her face I could know something was actually disturbing her. “Dude, what happened?” I asked her. She nodded her head twice and then said “She is weird. Everytime she comes she makes my life hell. I am 25 and I am still unmarried and it is a crime according to her. She says there is something wrong with me hence I am not married. The other da

She still gets lost in an unknown world, burns her lips and drops down the cup. But she doesn’t miss him anymore.  All these years she had missed him, she had been in pain. But one fine morning she got up and realized it doesn’t hurt anymore. She didn’t feel anymore. She had moved on. She has moved on in a way that she remembers him, but doesn’t miss him. She remembers him everytime it rains, she wonders if it’s raining where he is. She wonders if he still smokes in the rain. Sometimes she thinks about him late at night while looking at the stars. She remembers him in a way that makes her smile. She still talks about him like he is the most prized treasure she ever had. But she knew she had moved on. Her heart doesn’t ache anymore. Maybe that is what moving on is all about, you never really forget the person, you simply stop getting affected by them. She thought she didn’t miss him, true she didn’t. You never miss someone who is always there within you. He was very much alive in ev

 “Her sad eyes tore my heart apart I told her to be strong Don’t give up, bounce back Fight it back She was broken and shattered She cried like a baby She cried “please help me.” I saw her falling apart But I could do nothing I simply looked at the mirror.” Depression For a change let’s talk about things that we shouldn’t be talking about, conversations that we avoid at dinner tables. I want you to talk to me, about me. I am sure you wouldn’t want to. Nobody does. I don’t blame them because I am not that loveable. But I believe you should talk about me because I am important. Sadly you realize my importance after it is too late. I am depression and today I am going to tell you a story.  I am not something to be scared of or something to be ashamed of. I am a disease just like fever and flu. Though I am not an easy disease because you never really realize my presence at the beginning and by the time you do, you don’t realize your own presence. I destroy you in ev

My dear you make me proud when you look up into their eyes and say you are doing good, while your eyes speak a contradictory tale. You are an ocean of endless thoughts, emotions and dreams. You hold a universe within you. I know the suffocation and pain you go through. The wild wolf inside you struggles every moment, even in captivity beneath your skin your eyes speak of the wolf’s longing to get free, to run wild. The tempest in your mind rages every second, the volcano that keeps growing within you ready to erupt any moment; yet you try to chain it back till it oozes out in form of hot tears from your eyes and you look high up to the skies. The tears flow down your cheeks while the stars twinkle brightly up above in the sky. The wolf within you roars. A star can shine as brightly as it wishes to, can you or I put a limit to its brightness? Does the sun feel sorry for shining so bright? Then why do you limit yourself? You are nothing less than a star...you are infinite... Does the

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes this morning was ofcourse my phone. But it said Bestie calling. The day started with talking over conference with bestie and kindergarten friend. I sat on the bed yawning, talking and finally listening to them. The phone got disconnected. I could hear mom shouting at me “atleast try waking up at 9”. So instead of calling them back I busied myself in arranging the bed and wondering why I am doing this, in a couple of hours it will be as messy as it is now. The books, the laptop, the kindle, the phone along with the charger and my spectacle all scattered on the bed. Most of the time I sleep off holding books (hoping for a knowledge transfer through osmosis) and I am too lazy to get up and put the laptop where it is supposed to be kept. So the best is to let them accompany me on bed. The phone rang again with both of them all freaked out “what the hell? When did you disconnect the call? You okay?” The conversation ended in a minute as one was

The good thing about birthday is that it comes only once in a year and bad thing is again the same i.e. it shows up only once in a year. You realize you are one year closer to death, you are getting older. That’s Birthday realization. And none of us like being reminded of our age. Age is not just a number it is more than that, it is a three lettered word. It is that one day in the whole year when people on your facebook list realize you exist, unless you are very much active on facebook. It is that one day in the year you can term it as “your day!” That’s birthday pampering. Anyways let’s get to the point now. This year I thought I would do something different on my birthday. I had not celebrated my birthday since two years because I was studying (I am still studying) and I didn’t have company to celebrate it with. So this year I thought enough is enough! I should pamper myself. Do whatever I wish to, even if it means doing alone. I do go out shopping, window shopping all alone. I

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold. I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter. I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell. I stood like a fool looking at her unable to understand my own reaction. When we parted our ways four years back I had put a full stop on that chapter of my life and moved on. I never expected to see her again

This time it wasn’t my hair clip or my nail, it was my heart that he broke. I never knew it would be this terrible. It’s been a week and he still hasn’t called me back. I called him up for the seventh time since morning. The frequency of my calls has decreased over the week. The day he said “it's over!” I don’t have a count on the number of times I had called him up. My calls were unanswered. And perhaps will never be answered again. But in a matter of few seconds he had turned me into a person I never thought I would become.  I never felt this helpless, this lost. Why couldn’t I stop crying? I was breathless. I hadn’t slept properly since a week. I pitied my grief stricken face. So this is what people call heart break..My heart, mind, brain, head and eyes were in a constant battle with each other. And now the running nose had joined them. I popped in pills to kill the headache. But unfortunately there are no medicines to kill the aching of a broken heart. It was hurting me. It f

It all seemed like yesterday when she was in his arms and he was playing with her hairs. It’s been three years now, and every morning Rishaan still wakes up with the same dream. But there was none in his arms and it was her memories that played with his mind. Diya had left three years back with just a note “It’s time for me to leave. We are not meant to be together.”  He still wondered what went wrong between them. Diya simply vanished and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t contact or find her. Neither the social networking sites nor their mutual friends could help. Within a short span of time the memories of London and Diya got buried deep somewhere. He pretended to have forgotten everything but she had become an inseparable part of him. Kiara sat on her princess bed looking at the solitaire diamond on her finger and beaming. She couldn’t help smiling remembering the moment when Rishaan went down on his knees and slipped it on her finger. The phone rang and dreamily she re