Fidgety Space

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf . Her moist sad eyes kept searching for him. The aroma of the strong coffee reminded her of the first time she had met him five years back. A nineteen year old nervous girl poured a cup of coffee for him.   ” Antara you look beautiful ” he said with a mischievous smile. The cup slipped from her hands. She was scared to look at him. She was told it was impossible to find a man like Vikkram. It’s because of her lucky stars that she was getting married to him. But Antara never wanted her lucky stars to smile at her in this manner, not when she had just started her college life. She wanted to study further and pursue her career in investment banking. She badly wanted to tell Vikkram about her life, her interests but he did not seem to be in a mood to listen. He kept flaunting his lucrative business, his new ventures, an

Unstoppable was the word that described her the best.  Even the red lights at the traffic stop could not stop her. She was fast and rebellious. She drove like she was competing with the wind.  It was past midnight and she was on the road racing with the wind. And for the first time ever she pressed the brake this hard. The car came to a screeching halt on the bridge. She rushed out of the car and ran towards the silhouette of a man standing near the edge of the bridge. This would have scared any other person but she was unstoppable. The man was about to jump off the bridge. She shouted “hey you, STOP!!”  The next moment she saw something falling down rather flying in mid air. She shouted “STOP YOU FOOL!!”  She knew she was too late. She could not save him. She was too stunned to move. She just saw someone die and she could not do anything. She was freezing and could not move . She was woken up from her state of shock by the light on the bridge which also died. Even darkness never sto

A flickering light flashed on her face and a gentle breeze blew her hair. And for the first time in many years she opened her eyes without compulsion. She witnessed something beautiful through the broken glass of the window. She dragged herself to the window and was awestruck at the beauty of the silver coloured grass. She felt like the moon had bathed the entire world in its colour. Little did she know then that the entire world meant just her world. She had never felt something this beautiful on her face before. For years she had been subjected to various kind of lights that wretched her but for the first time this silver light had a peculiar aura.  She wanted to absorb more of it. She searched for the source behind this powerful brightness. And high above the moon played hide and seek with her. It kept hiding in between the branches of the tree. She tried hard to see it but could only catch a glimpse of it. For the first time in many years she was this curious, this restless. Hour

I was just 7 or 8 years old when I learnt the importance of 14 th February. I learnt it from the Children’s Encyclopedia.  Valentine’s Day is the day you celebrate love, you tell the people you love how much you care about them. And it also taught us to make Valentine’s Day cards for “mom” “dad”. Tell your mom how much you love her. I was confused. Do I seriously need a particular day to tell that to them? What’s so special about this day? And to confuse me even more the idiot box played its part. Whichever channel I switch to there is someone singing for someone expressing their love, someone confessing about their feelings and the romantic songs dedication, college kids (back then they were matured adults for me)howling n shouting much like the neelam show from kuch kuch hota hai. Perhaps Saffron brigade wasn’t that active back then.  But none of them expressed their love for their mom or dad. The colourful lovely three pages of encyclopedia was a waste then? Either the one who wr

Washroom isnt the place to check your results but I wanted to check it alone. I went numb. No its definitely not my marks perhaps it’s a 68 not a 38 if I zoom it will be a 68. No it wasn't I saw 38s and just saw the word FAIL! It cant be my marks. I didn’t cry rather I couldn’t I was too shocked to react. I came out and told a friend “nahi hua I got a 38 in fin reporting and sfm aswell how?” I was sort of stoned. I went inside the class took my seat, the faculty was busy consoling another girl who did not make it. You know that feeling when you don’t even need water to drown yes that’s how I felt somewhere I was sinking I was drowning. But I needed water I bent down to open my bag and seems I did not really need my water bottle my eyes did the job.  Mam are you okay? You okay? Perhaps this was repeated some 3 times and finally I looked up and said yes but my tears also have a mind of their own they couldn’t control their flow. And the faculty asked so you also didn’t make it? I j

It was just another lazy evening. I was walking back home. Its hardly a 10 minutes walk from class. There was some rock band playing really hard inside my head. I felt like my head would explode any moment, migraine attacks are sometimes dead painful. And then there were disturbed voices in my head shouting “what if and what if not? “  I could not shut them out. The cold air and the smokers on the pavement irritated me. Normally I enjoy walking. Maybe today wasn’t one of those normal days. I could see from a distance many people on the pavement. Normally the dogs and I own it at this time of the evening. I thought the golgappa wala must be the reason behind this little crowd of some 15-20 men. But then I could clearly see the reason. I saw a man lying on the pavement and there was a bike nearby. I thought it to be an accident. But nobody really went and tried helping the man instead they all stood at a fair distance from him and were just looking at his fallen body. The man was then

I look at the mirror and sing “messy hair messy hair what are you screaming at?” (this song been inspired by Phoebe from “Friends” you know smelly cat smelly cat what are they feeding you?)and my hair sing back “sleepy gal sleepy gal that’s not your business.” Me: Lets fix you up J you would look great!! My Hair: you mean you would look great? You get the compliment not us! Me: isnt it the same thing? My Hair: Don’t you remember what that lady said? you have  a pretty face, great figure but you need to do something about your hair you wont look good if you are bald, use our range of professional products .. and you did not buy any of the products she was trying to sell simply because those might have made us look good..you could not stand that.. Me: I am not rich enough to buy their products. :/ My Hair: Well we are not good enough to obey you. :D  Ouch! Will you please stop using that funny brush and hard comb you kill so many of us on a daily basis!! You spent so muc