In this one year of work experience as an articled assistant
I have realised there are three kinds of people- the first kind work because
they like to work, the second kind work because they have to work or maybe
forced to work and the third kind work because
others are working(they don’t like lagging behind). And trust me the third
category consists mostly of girls :-P (neither they are forced to work nor are
they interested but “hum kisi se kam nahi”) Then I have come across another
category consisting of people who “work and do not work. “ You must be wondering what I meant by work
and do not work.., well in their case work is rather a relative term, they
normally do stuffs that is not really included in normal course of work but
those are the stuffs that you find them doing most of the time. Hence they work
and they do not work. And the people in this category are always satisfied with
their job. Rescission never affects their job, they don’t get nightmares about
pink slips, they don’t have deadlines to meet, they never have to spend
sleepless nights on work, they can draw salary advance any time they wish, they
can get leave anytime they wish, they are not bound by a particular office
timing, they can come and go anytime they wish and they always have the “work
is bliss” expression on their face. Wait did I forget the allowances?? Well yes
they have every type of allowances you can think of. Welcome to Government Office!!
Maybe these are the reasons why there is always a craze for government
jobs. Whatever I am going to write about
government offices here do not really apply to all the government offices, but
definitely the majority falling under this category belong to my State ofcourse
:P (I mean no disrespect)
I really had some LOL experiences with Government clients.
The first day I stepped into a Government office I was greeted with “they have
sent a girl!!” The first thing I wanted to do then was punch the person hard on
his face and say “yes look they have sent a girl!” But then I told myself ignorance
is bliss! In this one year I have literally mugged up three lines “take it as
an experience” “ignorance is bliss” and “patience” Trust me it works J Anyways no free gyan sessions over here let us
get back to the place where I realised old men stalk more than young guys. The
moment you enter till the moment you leave you find curious eyes following you
everywhere. Your mind starts singing “mud mud k na dekh mud mud ke.” But then you realise what can a person do
when all he does is sit at a place and do literally nothing. If you reach the
office at 10am it is like early morning for them you will rarely find anyone in
the office. As I said earlier they don’t
have any particular workings hours or timing they come and leave as per their
convenience. Their convenience might even mean coming at 12.30 pm and leaving
at 3.30 pm which includes atleast one hour lunch break. Initially you feel like all noble people work
here for social causes like live green, they love trees that is why they save
papers. Sometimes you cannot even take a print out of a trial balance and if
the trial balance is of more than 5 pages (normally it is more than 5) you will
get a look as if you just murdered 6 sheets of papers(or maybe trees that makes
more sense), you are a criminal. Ask
them for one sheet of paper and they will ask you to write a requisition for
that one sheet of paper. Again you need a paper to write a requisition. Most of
your days will be spent on writing requisitions for files, ledgers, vouchers
and sometimes even for a computer system or even for a chair to sit. Then you realise
they don’t believe in the save paper save trees concept. When you write a requisition
for a particular thing you have to make two copies one for them another your
back up proof whatever. Your trial balance printout is a waste of 6 7 papers
but the number of requisitions for every damn thing is never a waste!!
How can
I miss the dear ladies working in a Government Office?! You really cannot make
out much difference between them and a housewife. They come after 12.30 pm and
you will rarely find them in the office after 3.30 pm. And in between their so
called working hours they have important personal calls to make from the office
phone. Their conversation might include star plus soaps to weddings, bitching
and what not. Sometimes you might even find these aunties stalking you. That is
the last thing you want there being stalked by women L You might even come across some aunty who
would ask you your bio data, give you free tips on maintaining flawless skin
and then say “I am in search of a girl of your height for my son.” You stare at
her with a blank expression. Never in your wildest dreams would you have
imagined being indirectly proposed by a woman on behalf of her son!! It is even more hilarious when these aunties
ask you questions like “are you done with Sir’s internal audit??you were
auditing him na?” oh yea I was internally auditing him!!These are the ROFL
moments when you cannot help laughing right there on their face. During the
lunch hour you hear live conversation and this time some of the uncles in the
office join them. Their topic of discussion will either drive you crazy or
sick. The ancestral property they could not inherit, the number of trees in
their garden, the reason why they cannot pluck all the vegetables, the number
of flowers that blossomed on their trees (they should rather be counting the
number of mushrooms blossoming on their heads). Their debate consists of topics
like kissan pineapple jam is made of papaya!
You might
even find people dozing off at any hour of the day. Your reaction “God
unsophisticated people working in a sophisticated office!” But even the offices
are not always classy or sophisticated. Sometimes the ceiling, fan and the
walls might remind you of a black and white movie. There might even be a place
inside the office used for spitting. You might even get to see dogs coming out
of the office. And nobody really bothers as if it is very much normal for the
dog to pay them a visit. Did I miss out
their ringtones?? Whenever someone’s phone rings your face might turn into the
whatsapp surprised shocked smiley!! And
almost everyone out there would pronounce loan as “loon.” And there will be days when you find garment
exhibition right inside the office the seller would rarely have any buyers but definitely
a large number of so called interested buyers will be present. You would wonder
if your teacher ever told you that you were worse than a fish market then what
would she tell them?! :O And it is worse when you are addressed as “stri loko” by
someone.
Sometimes
they make work easier; you don’t get shocked to see their vast expenses on
internet. You don’t have to bang your suspicious head on how they spend lakhs
on internet expenses every month. When every employee is so much addicted to
facebook and youtube and you are a witness to their addiction. Their day starts
with star plus soaps on youtube and ends with colours. Almost every day atleast
30 to 40% of the employees must be on leave. Some or the other department must
be closed. And at the end of the month they get a very “happy wala pay. “
So is it the reason why people opt for government jobs? Despite all the feel good provisions how many
youngsters would like to get into such an environment? How many would like to
work in such a culture? Change is a word that perhaps would never have any
existence in such environment. But the craze for Government jobs will always
remain the same.